We Live In a Judgmental World — Thoughts on The Tony Robbins Situation
People in general are pretty judgmental to begin with, so when someone does something wrong (Tony Robbins clearly missed the boat in a big way when it comes to the powerful and important MeToo movement) they’re extra-brutal in their criticism. For so long, I was so scared of getting judged by others. After my mother’s 6 and 7-year-old students were shot and killed at my old elementary school, Sandy Hook Elementary School, in 2012 — my mom was at the school that morning and left shortly before the shooter arrived — I realized I needed to stop being afraid of being judged and start putting myself out there with the purpose of helping others (among other motivating factors). After all, those innocent kids didn’t even get a chance at life.
I then shared with as many people as I possibly could how I came incredibly close to committing suicide in 2007 when I was 17 years old. When I’m speaking to an audience of 1,000 people, my thinking is that if 999 people judge me, but I help one person, it’s all worth it. I’m sharing this not to make it about me, but to show that the way to approach Tony’s mistake is from the perspective of light, love, Oneness, and refraining from passing judgment.
Tony Robbins really grew on me over the last year. I saw all the great work he does around suicide prevention and feeding people who don’t have food to eat. I’m seeing all the anger and hate he’s getting right now, and yes, to an extent I get it — he made a big mistake. At the same time, I don’t understand why people so quickly forget about all the great things he’s done. I’m not defending his actions when it comes to what he did in this specific mistake, as he clearly crossed the line in more ways than one. From a bigger picture, he’s making a huge positive difference in the world. People, in general, are way too quick to forget that.
As I’ve mentioned, people are judgmental, to begin with, so when someone makes a mistake they judge even more harshly. I’ve had so many people judge me for talking about suicide prevention — people have unfriended me on Facebook, I’ve gotten angry emails from people asking me to stop talking about it, I’ve gotten death stares from audience members who seriously dislike me for bringing the topic up. And yet there’s nothing wrong with me talking about suicide prevention whatsoever, as many people are committing suicide every single day and discussing it is helping others. The truth is we live in a judgmental world, and people will judge you no matter what you do.
“I love you” was not the way to handle the evil monster Hitler and the millions of innocent Jewish people who were slaughtered. With that said, that’s a very extreme example. 99.99% of the time, the way to approach these kinds of situations is with love and understanding.
Everything, down to the smallest chance encounter, happens for a reason. We are all One, and there’s no separation between you and another.
“We are all One. There is only love.” — Dr. Wayne Dyer
Jeff Davis is the author of The Power of Authentic Leadership.
