The Challenge of Authenticity: Dealing With Judgmental People
As an authentic leadership expert, I’m constantly emphasizing the importance of being transparent and showing your true self to the world. One of the biggest challenges in being authentic is that people will judge you for it.
Here’s the catch-22: people will judge you no matter what you do. So why not let them judge you for being yourself?
A lot of people hesitate to be themselves because of the consequence of getting judged for doing so (yes, that’s the fake society we live in — you get judged for being true to who you really are). And I don’t blame people for doing that, as others can be brutal with their unfair judgments. With that said, there’s a big consequence to not being authentic: you have to live with yourself and you may not like who you’re becoming.
I’ve been studying, researching, interviewing, living, and experimenting with this topic of authentic leadership for years, and in my expert opinion you are much better off in the long-run when you are authentic, vulnerable, and transparent with the world. It’s better to be disliked for who you are than liked for who you’re not. Take off the mask and show your truest self to the world in its entirety.
Lightbulb Moment
Here’s the kicker: even when you’re not authentic, and you instead try to be cool and fit in, people will still judge you.
People are always judging. Sadly, it’s a simple reality of life. Of course this isn’t true for everyone, but it is with the vast majority of people. Since people are going to judge you no matter what, it’s better for you to be judged for being your true self.
Wearing a mask will leave you to wonder: would they have liked me if I instead was my true self?
Now, for the fun part: yes, people will judge you for being who you really are, but you’ll also attract into your life the right people and live a much happier and more joyful life.
The Only Certainty
Benjamin Franklin famously said, “In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.” I disagree. Death can be avoided by cryogenically freezing yourself, and there are plenty of stories of people who evade taxes. The one thing you can’t avoid is being judged by others. Even if you do everything in your power to avoid being judged by others, they’ll judge you for that. You get the picture.
Since being judged is inevitable, you are better off not worrying about other people’s opinions and instead being your most authentic self. Not only will this liberate you from your own fears, but it will also help others. Being authentic is a win-win, serving the best interests of yourself and those around you.
Jeff Davis is the author of The Power of Authentic Leadership.
